One of the challenges specialists face is the desire of parents of a special child to make them LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Why is it important to understand and accept the child as they are? What does the future hold for them? Dr. Olena Volodymyrivna Cherepukha, a child psychiatrist from the Dobrobut medical network, explains.
Parents of a special child often hope for a miraculous treatment that will instantly help their child. However, adaptation programs usually take years. It is crucial to understand how to adjust one’s expectations and provide the right support to the child.
What does a mother of a special needs child go through?
In our country, it is often observed that a mother sacrifices her life for the sake of her special child. She abandons her personal affairs and devotes herself entirely to the child, while society criticizes her. Unfortunately, in some cases, fathers leave such families. Some men do not accept the diagnosis or believe the child is not theirs. For example, in my practice, a father once said, “I am healthy. How could I have a mentally retarded child?” There are also cases where the father simply disappears.
This creates a legal issue: according to the Law of Ukraine "On Psychiatric Care," both parents’ consent is required for examination and treatment. In such cases, authorities have to locate the father to obtain his consent.
Fortunately, many fathers sincerely and selflessly care for their special children.
Special children need professional care
There are many cases where a mother decides, "I will save my child. I will prove they are normal and deserve to live a normal life." However, if a person constantly tries to prove something to others, they may not have the strength left to help the one who truly needs it.
Today, specialized centers exist where professionals focus on the specific condition of each child. These centers allow children to adapt and undergo rehabilitation under the supervision of experts. Parents should not sacrifice themselves but should allow specialists to help their child.
A child different from others
I often hear parents say, "My child will become like other children." However, it is important to understand that they will not be exactly like everyone else. I offer this comparison: Imagine a child is born without one leg. No one would force them to run like everyone else—they would do it differently. Why demand the impossible from a child?
Sometimes, parents struggle to accept that if a child has a psychological condition, they are special from the start. But they should not be forced into the framework of being "LIKE EVERYONE ELSE."
Of course, such a child requires more attention and effort from parents. It is extremely difficult for them to adapt in a big city.
During childhood, it is important to develop the skills that come naturally to the child. Some children show an early interest in technology, others in drawing, and some love crafting things. It is essential to move forward gradually, observing the child and following expert recommendations.
What does the future hold for a special child?
Parents must understand that their child's needs are different from those of other children. They may not have the desire to start a family in the future simply because they do not want to have someone constantly around them.
If, however, they do wish to build relationships, they will express this themselves. Generally, people with psychological differences who have learned to care for themselves and have acquired a profession can find a partner. Naturally, there are more such examples abroad. Many special individuals live independently as adults, happily showing their homes, their loved ones, and appearing completely content.
In our country, the availability of specialized centers provides parents with the opportunity to learn how to build both the present and future for their child, teaching them to take maximum responsibility for their own life. Parents should help their child feel comfortable being exactly who they are.
